Sisters Keeping Love Alive

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

All the Single Ladies!

Out of the six of us girls I have a unique role and responsibility to look after all of the single girls out there. Being the single one amongst us I feel it is my job to share insights, offer tips and suggestions to all of the single women who are reading this. Maybe you're looking for a man, maybe you're not. Or, maybe you admit you're looking for a man, and maybe you don't. But each of you are at a different stage along the path to being where you want to be, and changing your facebook status from single to in a relationship.

I'm no expert, but I do know what will make each day great, and what wont. To be brutally honest I just recommend that you stop obsessing about the fact that you're single!  
And take the time to be amazing today!

  • Don't try to be everywhere and be available to attend everything you're invited to. Be social but also take the time out and care for yourself. 
  • Develop your talents and harness the many skills you know you have but don't use. Don't wait for life to start before you go to that class or join that group, your life is now, live today and learn something new
  • Use now to decide who you are and the person who you want to be. Be that person today and share yourself with others. 
  • Build and maintain relationships with a variety of people and try not to only hang out with your single friends. Network with the people in your life who both single and married, old and young. Keep those around you that will enrich your life. They'll also help you to make meaningful connections with new, interesting and like minded people. 

 One day when you're old and grey you'll remember this time of your life and you may find that you wish you did things differently. So instead of leaving room for 'what ifs', capture the moments you have now and run with opportunities. Be your own brand of amazing and be the version of yourself that the old, grey you will be proud of. When you're being your amazing self, you'll recognise how great you are, and the people around you will notice and be drawn to you too.

Enjoy your single life and make the most of it! Don't put a time-line on happiness and say "I'll be happy when" because 'when' is now.

Friday, 14 June 2013

Learn how to train the people in your life to do what you want!

Does your husband leave his socks on the floor no matter how many times you have asked him not to? Or does you current boyfriend not buy you flowers as much as you would like?

This semester I took at behavioural learning class and we learnt a lot of useful things, a few of which I am going to share with you!

We learnt about different ways to condition or train people such as using punishment, negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement etc. I am going to tell you a little about positive reinforcement because it is the most effective at getting the behaviours you want. People respond well to it and love receiving it!

Positive reinforcement is when you reinforce a behaviour (with some sort of reward) that increases the likelihood of the behaviour being performed again. So what we want to do is get our husbands to help us with some house work, or buy more flowers, or be more loving etc. Here are a few tips to get the behaviours you want from people.

Sheldon uses positive reinforcement on Penny.

Firstly, the golden rule - what you reinforce, is what you get!
If you are always picking at your partners faults, or picking up on what they didn't do, you are likely to see more of this. When you say 'you forgot to hang up the washing, again!', or 'will you ever help me with the housework' you are reinforcing the behaviour you don't want. The trick to positive reinforcement is to STOP. Stop nitpicking, fault finding and addressing the behaviour you didn't want to see.

So, step two is to reinforce the behaviours you want to see. This takes ignoring behaviours you didn't want to see and focussing wholely on what your partner or child etc did do that you liked. For example, rewarding or praising your child or husband for the behaviours you liked; 'Honey, thank you so much for _____. I am so grateful I have a husband who is so caring'. Or if they have left their socks on the floor again; 'Honey, thank you for putting most of you clothes in the basket, I am so appreciative when you do this'  because the behaviour you are reinforcing is putting clothes in the basket.

You will find that when you start to notice and reinforce the behaviours you want to see you and your partner will be much happier, become closer and it will allow love to flow between you.

Positive reinforcement also is extremely effective with children! It allows them to know what you expect but also gives them the freedom and confidence to try other similar behaviours (this is called generalisation).

For me and Jacob it was really fun and it made us really happy when we began practising positive reinforcement. We were clear on the behaviours we liked and it helped us get closer as we were always being positive reinforcement. I found that Jacob started doing behaviours I reinforced, for example, the dishes more often, and clothes in the laundry etc.
Sometimes Jacob says to me 'you're trying to use positive reinforcement on me again, aren't you??', but honestly, even if they notice its still works... and everyone loves a bit of positive reinforcement in their life. Believe me, it works!

For more information and insight read 'Don't shoot the dog by Karen Pryor.

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Make-Up Tips - HAC yourself flawless

Okay, so you're going somewhere that is guaranteed to be swarming with potential dates and you have just GOT to look your best.

Here is what you need to know.

Highlight and Contour your face. They're calling it 'HAC' in Pinterest land. If you aren't on Pinterest, get on there. Stat.

Anyway, so the idea is that you use your ordinary makeup items (you can use the specific products she suggests or just use what you have) to contour your face so that you have a much more flattering look. And it's simple! I can do it, therefore, simple :) It's perfect for dates, photo shoots, or just going to work when you want to look hotter. And who doesn't want to spend five minutes making themselves look hotter.

This girl is already gorgeous on the left, but look how with a few simple make up tips her face looks so much better:
Click the picture above to follow the link to her website where you can see a few pictures and at the bottom there is a video where you can do it step by step with her. Get ready to change your life :)

The Romance of an Old Style Dance

I play in a band and one of the regular performances that we do is an old style dance. 

Features of the night are swing and rock and roll music and dances such as the Pride of Erin and the Progressive Barn Dance. Now I must admit, the average age of the people who attend is what may be described as ‘mature’. Despite this, I love sitting on the stage watching the couples, some of who have obviously been married for many years and the way the spend time together. Things I have noticed about the couples who seem happy and content with each other are
1.     They spend the night at each other’s sides. They walk in together, they dance together, they sit next to each other, usually side by side holding hands with the other person. Then at the end of the night together they bid farewell and arm in arm they walk out together.
2.     When they dance they focus on each other. They have little moves they have worked out together that they add to make their style individual. They are unconcerned about how the other couples dance. They are there to dance with the other person and that is enough.

3.     They are thoughtful of each other. Though out the night one person may get a drink for the other or lead them to the bathroom and wait outside for them. They make sure the other person is feeling well and having a good time.
4.     The obviously enjoy each other’s company and are happy to be spending the night together.
How nice to be able to spend your retirement years with a person that you love, respect and adore. I have a few years yet but I look forward to it. J

Friday, 7 June 2013

Hiring a dvd again?

Do you ever run out of date ideas? Well I know I do. If you're anything like me then you pretty much go to the same kinds of places and do the same sort of things each weekend. Either with your date or with your long term partner, we can all get stuck in a dating rut.

So I'm speaking to you, those of you who just don't know what on earth you're going to do this weekend so you hire another dvd and get take-out. I know the both of you wish you had thought of something better to do when you're standing together at the counter of the dvd store paying your 1.95 to watch finding nemo for the 5th time. Ok, so you haven't been to the dvd store in forever, but you know what I'm talking about.

I'm offering you a single suggestion - learn to dance.

Go to a dance class or to the free dancing lessons in the street put on by your city. Jive, swing, salsa, hip-hop, folk, freestyle, line, whatever. If you do like your date then I'd suggest you pick a style of dance that is a partner dance which you can do together. If you'd rather not be spending time with them then choose a style where you spend most of the time dancing with other people... or just not touching. The options are endless, it's energetic and fun. You'll be learning something new that you can do together. Who knows, you might even love it!

Go on, look up classes near you. You wont regret it!

Thursday, 6 June 2013

Love in every sense of the word!

I thought I would change the pace a little and talk about another kind of LOVE.  We talk about loving and doing special things for our kids our marriage and our husband/partners but what about SELF-LOVE!  Self-love, self-worth, self-esteem to me it is all combined.  As mothers and as women we naturally think of others more than ourselves.

Over the last 6 months I have gone on my own 'journey' I have always been a fit person involved in sports from a young age competing in swimming and running at a national level.  When I had the girls I must be honest, I 'let myself go a bit'.  It was more of a time factor and care factor.  I enjoyed spending time with the girls, between work and running my business the time just didn't permit me to do exercise.

One day I decided its time to get back into shape, its time to put some ME time aside.  So I set out on a 'journey'.  I enrolled myself in a 12 week body transformation program and right from the get go I was determined to shed some of the weight I was carrying.  Over the 12 weeks I shed 10.5kg (23lbs) and over 45cm and my entire outlook on myself changed.  I was back to my confident self, I LOVED how fit I felt, I LOVED how healthy I was eating, I LOVED how my body looked, I LOVED my little girl telling me my bum was little like hers (hehehehe) and I LOVED how hubby LOVED my new/old (pre-baby) body again.

My tips are:
  • Do it for you!!! Not hubby but for you, you deserve to feel sexy, fit and healthy
  • PLAN - organisation is the key, if your not organised you will be your own worst enemy
  • MAKE TIME - either you have to get up at 5am to go to the gym or a run or whatever your fitness of choice is, just make the time and stick with it.
  • Set goals and WRITE them down - as a kid my mum would sing me this song - 
    • Set a goal and you will never fail, you can always do what you want to d;
    •  Set a goal be sure to write it down and you'll see what it can do for you.
  • Teach your children - my oldest is 3.5yrs and she would see me doing sprints or lunges, squats, push ups and want to be involved, so I showed her how to do them and she would exercise along side me. One day she asked me if I would take her for a run, so I did and she ran 1km!!!! She's only 3.5yrs old but she saw Mummy staying fit and wanted to do the same.
You CAN do it!!  My Personal Trainers motto is "NO EXCUSES"

You can do it Ladies, your never too old, never too fat, never too unfit.  You have to start somewhere and sometime and that can be today!  Something as small as starting with a walk around the block, take your kids, let them ride their bikes or push them in the stroller.  YOU CAN DO IT.

Sunday, 2 June 2013

Those Moments that Change Everything

I watched a movie the other day called Eat, Pray, Love with Julia Roberts and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It was a story where she is on a search to find herself and balance in life. In the end, just as she finds her balance she ends up finding the man of her dreams. But to really be with him, her new found balance had to be completely thrown off with a spur of the moment decision. There is a guru that predicts events on her path and gives her amazing advice throughout the movie. I wrote down something he said. This isn't a direct quote because I modified it but I give full credit to the movie. What I wrote I down was “You lose your balance in life, you lose power but sometimes you need to lose your balance for love.”

It’s interesting how love works. People always say that you will find the right person when you least expect it and I think it is usually when you finally are ok with yourself as you are. If that time doesn't come when you are younger, sometimes we get more and more withdrawn and nervous about love, like the risk gets bigger (or so it seems). But if you allow yourself to do something different, even for a moment, who knows the happiness or even just the learning experience it could bring. It is easy to stay safe but it makes the day so much more worthwhile if you smile at that person whose eyes you have been avoiding, say a quick hello to people as you walk by, ask that guy to dance you have been eyeing off all night, wink at the cute guy in the car next to you and maybe even drop a hint to the one who has been chatting to you for weeks.

If you keep guarding your life’s path then no one will have to chance to cross over it. I think we all need to get out of balance sometimes because you can only progress by learning to juggle new things. If you have already found that special someone maybe there is something you can do to alter it for the better, perhaps all you need to do is take an extra moment to make them feel special. 

What are some moments that you took which completely altered your life?